The Long Wait

I stumbled onto a new blog this morning. I was reading the BigHouse blog and remembered that Micah had told me about the blog she'd found called "Whispers of a former foster child". I added it to my list and read some posts. I am in awe of any adult who makes it out of the system and has good things to say about being a foster child. This person has a good outlook on her life, thank God.
It is no wonder kids say foster care was Hell. Do you know that for the record, foster children are considered "homeless"? We filled out "free/reduced price lunch forms" when we first got our kids because we had six in school and frankly would have probably qualified even if some weren't "foster" children. We were told right away that foster children in Alabama always got free lunch at school....I found out later that it was because they were considered "homeless". Our kids are far from homeless now but until that final court declares their mother's termination of rights fully legal and binding we wait. We have been told that it could take up to two MORE years before we can adopt these children. That will mean that they would have been foster children for five and a half years! Is there anything right about this? ANYTHING legal and just? There are five girls in our case who are in families who want to adopt them but in order to dot i's and cross t's we have to just wait. All the rights in the world are granted the birth parents who's behavior cost them their children but no rights are given to the children who want to belong to a family. It really burns me.

I am thankful for people like Victoria Rowell, former foster child, and the writer of "Whispers of a former foster child" for helping us as foster families to understand how to go around the court system and policies to really make these kids feel as if they belong to us. We of course feel that they do. BUT, I can't tell you that we don't live in constant fear that "they" will come and take them away from us. We have no rights if "they" do. We are just volunteers at the mercy of the state. I know there are foster parents who do this for the wrong reasons...there will always be people who do all sorts of things for the wrong reasons but I can't be responsible for any behavior other than my own. We do this because we feel that God called us to. Pure and simple. I am almost fifty years old and have lots of things I could be doing other than foster parenting! But I feel that I have a purpose. These little girls have to have someone who will say.."ENOUGH!" Enough poverty, enough shame, enough abuse and neglect.
They deserve to be loved! They deserve to have pretty clothes and birthday parties and friends! They deserve a life of joy not shame! They have nothing to be ashamed of! They did not ask for any of their prior life.
I am praying that someone in power will hear us and stop the long wait for adoption. If we can get children out of the foster system sooner they will have a better chance at a whole life.