Greetings From The Circus

It's finally Wednesday morning...Michael has been at a teacher conference since, well, he left Sunday night so he could be there at 8 on Monday. We all miss him when he's gone. I cannot fathom being a single mom. Those women have my utmost respect! My sister-in-law C. is one. She has pretty much raised her two sons without help from their father (Michael's brother). He loves them but is pretty much "in love" with himself and his addictions. I don't mean to judge but he's almost 50. He should have accepted help by now and grown up. He has really missed out. We got to spend a little time with his older son this week. I am impressed with this young man's sensitivity, a Brown man trait for sure. They are all such wonderful men. I haven't mentioned before that Michael has seven brothers...his brave mother had eleven children in all, Michael was her baby...he grew up however, a couple of his brothers chose to remain teenagers. I am not sure what happened to them. The older men in the family are grandfathers, worthy of respect and admiration. There are a couple who have been teachers/coaches, two are master carpenters running their own businesses for years, one is a houseparent at a wonderful children's home in TN, one married a woman with four young children and helped her raise them to adulthood and has voiced an interest in foster parenting. One scouted cotton and taught high school, raised three kids, one of which is a missionary in China....they are all unique and similar at the same time. The brothers who struggle with alcohol and or other addictions are "good guys". I have seen them both when not under the influence of something personality altering, be sweet and funny, charming and interesting...but then there are the times we all wish we could forget. I didn't have to raise my kids around them, which now that I have older teen boys I wish they could have seen some of the things my girls and some of the cousins who lived around them saw.
The older of the two lost his family completely due to his lifestyle. His daughter and son don't want to have anything to do with him. Who can blame them, he's been an embarrassment to them so many times, showing up drunk or altered for their band performances, ballgames, honors. They are fine adults, the girl, graduated college a few years ago, married this past year and is working in the criminal justice field, the boy, a young husband and soon to be father graduated from the University of Alabama. Neither invited their father to their graduations or weddings...isn't that sad?! Who could possibly blame them? Their mother and stepdad have been with them for the important events of their lives so it was the stepfather who was there at these happy occasions. I know the kind of hearts these men have. It would absolutely destroy Michael to be shut out of his kids' lives, I'm sure it has been awful for his brother. But, he always has his first love to return to. I wonder how comforting it will be in his senior years to know how much this "love" has cost him.
After getting to know the son of the other brother just a little bit I see a huge void there for him as well. I told Seth on the way to pick him up the other night that he was about to spend some time with a cousin who hadn't had the luxury of a good daddy being ever present and accounted for. His mother is a trooper, her boys are 18 and 20. I wouldn't want to walk in her shoes. These boys are still very young, they don't have much in the way of direction. I wish they could spend more time with the older men in their family (or the youngest). I pray for them all. They have a tough journey ahead. I'm praying their daddy will choose to grow up with them. I am thankful for the life Michael has lead in front of our boys...they have choices to make too. We are all wonderful people, we are also ALL messed up! But for the grace of Jesus I would be in a ditch. I don't stand in judgment of these guys, they are our family but I wish they would wake up and see what's real in this life and get back what they have lost before it's too late.