When We were Lee AND Scott, Class of '78

I've written lately about finding Nancy, my friend from elementary school on Facebook. It's been so great talking to her, we are even in a Bible Study together on Wednesday nights. I just knew she would like the group of ladies that meet together and I'm happy to say I was right. It's funny watching her, this was the second week she was there and she realized she knew three or four of the women from a few years ago. They all laughed and shared where they'd been and how they were connected. She is loved there. It's a God-thing. The other night we went to a new business in Auburn after the study to meet up with some other friends to paint and share some laughs. Our friend Terri was the hostess of a little birthday celebration for me. She had not seen Nancy in a long time, it was good to be together again. We painted "coneflowers" on canvas while we sipped Coke and Mt Dew and talked a little about old times but more about how our leaves looked wrong and our colors were off.
Terri and I have never lost touch. We've been together through thick and thin. It always gives me great joy to tell people who knew Terri's husband "back in the day" that he is not the same guy. Well, he is the same person but he's truly changed from those early years. God made the difference and what a difference! Jack is a great guy, just goes to show that I didn't know what I was talking about when I tried to talk her out of marrying him twenty-eight years ago.
When I was first talking to Nancy a few weeks ago I told her I'd kept up with several of our friends from childhood at Lee Academy. I see Susan Turner (Chalopka) at church, I run into Kathy Barrett (Williams) downtown and am planning on going to lunch with her on Tuesday. I talk to someone in Hunt Crisler's family every now and then and have friended him and his sweet wife Kathy on FB. Philip Stroud is still in town, so is Allen Samford, he and his lady Jan Pugh (Johnson) were at my fiftieth birthday party the other night. He is still the champ at remembering everybody's birthday and anniversary.
I suppose there is something "mother hen-ish" about me but I really want these people to stay together. We came pretty close to starting out together, (most of us were fourth or fifth graders) Philip was second grade when he came to Lee, I was third. Now that we are all about to turn fifty (uh hum, some of us are already there) it's time to at least talk about some sort of reunion. I know the people who are handling the facebook page are working on it. It really shouldn't be too hard for us...the Lee class of '78, there were only 16 of us. In the senior picture, if I remember correctly there were 8 boys and 8 girls.
So, I'll end with a challenge. Let's work on getting everybody on facebook. At least we can talk to each other occasionally. I bet there aren't many people who can say all their graduating class (plus others who were with us for some of the years before) is on facebook.
I'm really looking forward to seeing you all!

Aidie said "I love you" for the first time tonight. She has been so fun to listen to this week. She mimicks the other girls and repeats things we tell her to say but tonight as she was going to bed I hugged her tight and said "I love you" and she responded as clear as a bell "I love you". Hannah heard her and said she hadn't heard her say that before.
This makes me feel special. I have to say I haven't felt very special to her until now. It's hard to get close to a child you only see every few months. She is precious to me but I just haven't felt like a significant figure in her life so far. I mean we don't even have a clear name for me yet....I started out one thing and changed to Grammy then Micah had this bright idea to call us
Poppy and Moppy....

I kinda like that, I feel kinda moppy most of the time, sounds like a good name for a ragamuffin.

I guess it will be the name the grandchild next door calls me so maybe it will catch on. I dream of Aiden being close enough to visit twice a month or so but it doesn't look promising. I am comforted that Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner and she'll be back then! But, in the meantime....I can hold the place of the person who got the first "I love you" out of her. I have to say that made this whole visit even more special.

Oh the tears when they leave this time, it gets worse with every goodbye. I want to run after the car and call them back for one more hug, one more kiss, one more minute. But, they have to go back to their lives and I have to get back to mine. I sure do look forward to the next "I love you" though sweet baby.
Make it soon.

Lissy's "New Attitude"

I have talked about our little four year old and her sassy attitude before. She is really cute and I know I'm gonna kick myself for not having video of her when she is older but some of her behavior particularly at school has been terrible. She told her teacher that she was a loser, to hush, and finally that she was gonna "kick her butt"....I found out later that she heard this on "SpongeBob". We don't watch him anymore. But, lately she's been the model student. Turns out she is getting more attention being a "mentor" to the new kid. Yes, there is a newer kid than Lissy and she is apparently a bigger handful (at least for the moment). When I picked her up on Wednesday her teacher told me that the new girl was acting up at rest time and Lissy told her "I'm gonna need you to get back on your cot". Hilarious! I'll take that any day. She also sang her the school rule song and told her to keep her hands and feet to herself or else!!!! Perhaps she's met her match.
She's been really sweet at home too. As we move toward the finalization of their adoption it's good to see her growing in a good direction.
The six year old is growing up too. She is a very pleasant child most of the time. She is loving and sweet. I have to admit I had my worries about her at first but it seems like years ago that she'd fold her arms and say "No, I don't want to" about just about anything you wanted her to do. She was traumatized of course. She's really relaxes over the past three years....that's a lot of time to get that way. Our caseworker asked her the other day if she was about ready to be adopted and she buried her head in my arm and said "NO!", I realized she thought the worker was talking about her leaving US! We cleared that up really quickly and she was happy again, just precious. She has chosen a new middle name, "JOY" I think that suits her!
The oldest of the three has probably been the most effected by the shift toward adoption. She has been the most vocal about wanting to get there but she's trying us more. She has come to the realization that in order to join our family permanently she has to severe the connection with her birth mom. This was not her choice and it's very hard to think your mother doesn't want to do what it takes to have you. I am thankful that her mother didn't make the choice to abort her. We can always respect that choice and know that she loved them all enough to at least give them life.
We still don't have a date for adoption....we hope it's before Christmas.That will make four years these children were foster kids...way too long if you ask me.

Happy Visit

We have had a great week with Hannah and Aiden. We have all loved having them here. It's been nice outside and we've done lots of playing. We are all amazed at all the words Aidie can say. Ariel is able to get her to say just about anything. One night at the dinner table she asked Aidie to point to each member of the family and she could identify all of us! That is quite an undertaking for a small fry. Her mama has done a good job with the photos!
Today is Friday, they are leaving on Sunday, this is going to be the hardest goodbye yet. We all love Aidie so much and she lights up a room when she enters. One day we went to the OHS to take Poppy lunch, she spotted Seth in the lunchroom surrounded by dozens of really big kids and ran to him. He loved it of course. She is turning out to be a really friendly toddler. She smiles this adorable little smile and everyone she meets melts. Hannah says they will be back for Thanksgiving so that helps my feelings, it's been about three and a half months since we saw them last. That is just too long!

Woman of Influence-The Adulterous woman

If you are in the Airview Women's Bible Study you know your homework for this week was to think of a woman who has influenced you and be prepared to share.
I have no problem thinking of dozens of women who have encouraged me and led me in the right direction all through my life. Teachers, pastor's wives, friends' moms, and lots of girlfriends older and younger have influenced me for the good.
Tonight we will look at someone who would have certainly been a woman our mothers would have warned us about. The Bible says in ICorinthians 15:33 "Bad company corrupts good morals", if you have not made friend choices that would cruise in the "bad company" catagory perhaps your children have. As moms we are up against some tough competition for the hearts and minds of our children. We want them to be salt and light, but we don't want them being drug into the pit by the enemy!
For a moment let's just think of the crowd Jesus ran with. There were stinky fishermen, a tax collector, not much is said about the other's occupations but they were pretty much the plain janes of the day. No great preachers (yet), no prophets or Bible book writers (yet) just guys. They were probably of little if any real reputation. I love the fact that God didn't come down and commission great evangalists to walk with him. He chose flawed people. He loved the dirty hands and faces of the pure in heart.
One day Jesus had an angry bunch of "churchy, uptight, self righteous men" bring him a woman who was "caught in the very act" of adultery. I have often wondered where the man went when this woman was dragged out into the street to be stoned to death. The mob asked Jesus what they should do with her. Read: John 8:1-12. It pretty much gives us the story in living color. Jesus stoops down and starts writing in the sand. I believe this has significance because; 1) He gets down on her level, I bet he looked into her soul with those coffee brown eyes and made her feel loved for maybe the first time in her life. 2) He pretty much was ignoring what the men were saying and doing. I believe his silence spoke volumes. When he did speak he embarassed the men by challenging the "one without sin among you cast the first stone". They knew the law, they knew they were all guilty of some sin. No one dared throw a stone of course! As the crowd dispersed, Jesus stooped down again...I bet this time he smiled at the woman, maybe even winked a "I've got this" smile. Both times it mentioned him writing in the sand....have you ever wondered what he was writing? One pastor friend says perhaps it was the names of men who had been with this woman, or naming sins he knew they were guilty of. Just writing out the ten commandments would have been enough to disperse the crowd.
Now, we get to the woman's influence...when everyone had left Jesus asked the woman "Where are they? Did no one condemn you?" She replied "No one Lord" and Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you: go your way. From now on sin no more.
The next verse says "I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life." Can you imagine for a minute what it must have felt like to have the living Savior tell you that 1) He didn't condemn you to die, although your behavior warrented it. 2)He had faith that you would follow him and sin no more. and 3) That from then on your influence on others would change dramatically...you would be walking in the living light! Now, that's what I'm talking about. I would love to have followed this girl back home and around town for a few days. I bet she couldn't scrub that smile off her face. Jesus had made the difference in her life and now she would go about her business as an influence for him. I bet she started up a women's support group for retired street walkers, fed the homeless and taught poor children to read. I imagine this woman becoming a joy to be around. Her new life had to be contagious.
Have you had this kind of influence in your life? A woman to whom so much has been given along with forgiveness that she just bubbles over with love and enthusiasm? Sometimes we need people in our lives who "have a past". They have been forgiven much so they understand grace better. Jesus didn't tell her to try to be a nice girl...he told her to go and sin NO MORE. Grace is not to be abused, but God knows our hearts, he knows it's hard for us to come back and say "I've messed up again". He is faithful to forgive us though when we are sincere.
Pray for any of your friends who are living a life of self and sin.
Pray for your influence to be that of a forgiven sinner who loves purely.
Thank God for the women in your life who have come to Jesus as "adulterous women" and left with new life.

Nancy

Somewhere in all the pictures that have come and gone in this house there's one of me and my friend Nancy (and I believe my cousin Gina) at the lake in the winter time. We are sitting around a fire eating saltine crackers and probably those little "sausages" that come in a can. We were really cute, all of us with our almost seventies long hair and bell bottom jeans.
It's hard to remember first getting to know Nancy, fourth grade is long forgotten for the most part. Her mother had just died the May before school started and my mother was having health issues that were more serious than I knew about at the time. Still, mine lived and she was left without hers. Nancy shared with me the other day that she believes the fact that she didn't have her mother there added to a shyness she still has today. I imagine that's true. I remember my mother being so mad at me for saying something SHE DID embarrassed me and then feeling shamed that Nancy's mother was not around to embarrass her at all. I believe the shyness theory is probably true though, Nancy felt different I'm sure, not many of our friends had felt the loss of a parent even through divorce.
I got the chance to sit across the table from my friend today at Chik-fil-a and share a snippet of our lives the past thirty years. We talked about our kids, our husbands (for just a minute, all good) and our aches and pains. Nancy has had some incredibly hard health issues and lives with constant pain. The doctors told her a lot of it was caused by years of smoking. I am so proud of her for stopping that habit five years ago (she's proud too). She looked good, she didn't wear that shroud of pain you sometimes see on people who have suffered. She has a lot of love and positive things in her life. She doesn't socialize much but she's on facebook now and I have a feeling that's going to change to some degree. I felt a tiny bit like I made her nervous for some reason which is something I never want to do to anyone, but she was warm and forthcoming with answers to all my "where've you been?" questions. She never was one to hide the truth about anything. I love that in people.
She said she had read some of my writing and felt connected to me, well I'm glad about that, even if she hasn't been personally involved in my life all these years doesn't negate the fact she one of my life's oldest relationships. I hope we stay in constant contact now. I don't want to lose her again.
I'm gonna find that picture and post it on here as soon as I do about a million other things I have to do first. In the meantime, I'm so glad Nancy is back, I need her.

My personal Hero

I have had a strange series of days. I have been on heavy medication for back pain that for the moment is still unexplained. I don't like taking medicine unless I really need it and lately I have really needed it. I have never experienced such torment in my life....with the exception of giving birth four times which should tell you I really wanted a big family, one bad epidural experience is enough for some women but the prizes I received at the end of the pain were so worth not even asking for the second, and so on.
The end of the week really got so bad I thought I would surely end up dead or in intensive care. Friday morning I woke up, got out of bed and literally had to hold on not to fall in the floor. My right leg just refused to move. To add to the stress of it all I knew I had to finish a wedding. It was thankfully all silk flowers so I had been working on it all week when I felt like it and didn't have much more to do. Micah graciously took Lissy to run some errands and I thought I'd take a pain pill and rest for a little while. I walked into my bedroom and saw something move at the foot of my bed. I was wearing my glasses so I didn't have to get too close to see it was a SNAKE. No, I'm not kidding. I am in the most severe pain of my adult life and now I'm staring down a black snake in the room I sleep in! I started screaming. I'm really glad no one was close enough to hear because I know I sounded like a crazy woman. Then I surprised myself, I stomped the hellish thing to death with my hurting leg, wearing flip-flops. I was screaming the whole time, I mean ugly crying screaming. Then I went and sat on my stairs and held my head in my hands and cried some more. I have not sobbed like that in years. It was like someone had died. I was in physical pain and emotional pain and I guess spiritual too. I cried out to Jesus to help me because I was seriously afraid I was losing my mind once and for all! You want to know what he told me to do? Text Matthan. That's what I did. I told him I needed him, I had killed a snake in my room and I was having a come apart and I needed him. I believe the Lord had me do that because he was exactly what I needed. I knew Michael would have felt terrible but couldn't leave his classes without a sub. I couldn't call any of my girlfriends, they were as afraid of snakes as I am. The Lord said "Call Matthan". I texted him, yes at school! All the more reason kids need their phones at school if you ask me...to rescue their parents from time to time. He texted back that he was on his way. His teacher asked him how he planned on getting the office to let him out without an excuse and he told her he was going to get his daddy to write him one. I'm sure Michael was just as glad to send him as come home to my hysterics himself. In no time that little red car screeched to a halt out front and my own personal Indiana Jones/William Wallace bolted through the door. I just pointed. He got some paper and took it outside and got a good look at it. He came back in and hugged me and told me he would help me pull everything out of my room and go through it to make sure there weren't anymore....it was little, I was afraid his mother was with him! Then he made me laugh when he said "I'll protect you from the lizard" (for that story refer to "Love and Lizards") I needed for my baby who keeps reminding me that in April he'll be eighteen, to just be here. He is really a great young man. He thinks with his brain and heart, he has an anointing on his life like I imagine King David did at seventeen, he's so beautiful and lion hearted, smart and truly loving. I know he thinks we only think about his mess ups but nothing could be further from the truth. I can't wait to see how God uses him. He has been gifted with so many talents, the least of which is comforting his mama.
I told him later that I was so excited that Micah is going to have a boy. I just have a feeling little Anderson is going to be a lot like his uncle Matty, I pray he is.

Rag Dolls

I have been experiencing some pretty bad back pain lately. I'm almost fifty, what should I expect right? It's funny though how this pain in my hips takes me back to my childhood. Anyone who knew me well enough to spend time at my house would know I had an old "Knickerbocker" Raggedy Ann who was my security blanket, my lovey, my dryer of tears....I'd actually take her hand and wipe my face when I cried. I ran home crying once when my cousin told me she was old and ugly because of the condition she was in. She was old and well, rag dolls rarely start out as pretty as Barbies but that was why I loved her so much, she was just plain, she didn't come with extra clothes or doll beds or baby bottles, no frills, no extras. She was real to me, a friend not a toy. She did have problems from time to time. More than once Mama had to preform surgery on her arms or legs when they started to loosen and stray. That was okay though, she was easily fixed. I always loved her even more with a new line of gray or blue stitching across where her limbs and body attached. It didn't matter to Mama or me what color thread was on the machine at the time, she got sewed up and that's all I cared about. I've been feeling a bit like my Raggedy Ann. I'm loosening up in the arm and leg areas, unfortunately for humans, putting us back together is a little more complicated. I wish the doctor could just sew my right leg back on tight but something tells me this won't be a quick fix. But I am trusting in my healer, the one who holds us all together and I will be better.....
I found this song by a couple who call themselves "Watermark", it's called Mended. Download the song if you can it's beautiful.

You repair all that we have torn apart and
You unveil a new beginning in our hearts and
We stand grateful for all that has been left behind and
All that goes before us
You've got all things suspended
All things connected
Nothing was forgotten
'Cause your love is perfect
You are our healer
And you know what's broken
And we're not a mystery to you

We will dance 'cause you restore the wasted years and
You will sing over all our coming fears and
We'll stand grateful for all that has been left behind and all that goes before us

Lord, you mend the breech
And you break every fetter
You give us your best, for what we thought was better
And you are to be praised
You are to be praised.

Poetry and Painkillers :)

I want...
life to be fun again
I want to try
I want...
to soar on a tire swing and touch the sky
and hold out my hand and catch the cotton candy clouds
and play betcha blink first with a spotted toad that I find while
I'm flying by
I want to dress up in my wedding gown dyed purple laces sprawlin'
and wear feathers in my hair and platform shoes by Colin.
I want life to be fun again
I want to play
while a butterfly lights on my finger and smiles and winks as she
flutters away.