This year has been one crazy ride. It started out with the celebration of our third "gotcha" day and Cheyenne's sixth birthday, her fourth in foster care. It was on her actual birthday that the judge made the decision to teminate her parent's rights to her (and all the others). I'm sure this was terribly painful to her mother. I feel her pain but it was not a surprise to any of us. We celebrated and grieved the loss at the same time. Of course this wouldn't be the end...there were two appeals. At about the same time we realized her brother would have to be placed where he could get constant attention. He never slept and was growing more and more threatening to all the girls. This process took several months. It was a loss for us all. The positive was this house calmed down so much I can't even describe it and the girls just opened up like flowers. We got busy making their room a fun place to live and pressed on toward adoption.
In July, Micah and Blake moved home, into my mother's house right next door. This was a wonderful event but our dear friends Jason and Lisa (who had lived in Mama's house) moved into their new home and we missed them. M and B literally dropped their things and we all headed to the beach for a nine day vacation at my cousin's condo. I loved being with all my family but a nagging pain in my right hip made me alot slower than I like. When we got home Micah and Blake told us they were expecting a baby in March!! We were thrilled!
Michael got a job with the Opelika school system and we were so thankful. He still owns his business but the cost of insurance was killing us...he was born to teach anyway so we just felt like this was more of God's call on his life. School started and he discovered what he was truly made of. I don't think he's ever been so tired in his life but I appreciate what he does more than he knows.
I realized my hip pain was really a disc or "something" and no amount of prescription pain meds touched it...I was scheduled for surgery. My kids planned a wonderful birthday party for me with my friend Kelly and I turned 50 just the way I wanted to, with friends and family laughing and eating.
Hannah and her family came home for Thanksgiving and announced they were expecting their second child, another time of rejoicing.
We were told all the appeals were over and the girls were ours to adopt. Halleluyah.
My surgery went fine and in a few days...okay a few weeks I was back to almost normal. We waited for an adoption date but the wheels were moving slowly...finally our friend Margaret Mayfield lit a fire under someone at DHR and we got the consent to adopt. On Dec 21, 2009 Ariel, Cheyenne and Felicity became Browns. We had a big party! So many people came we couldn't talk to everybody...the girls loved it! They felt like rock stars.
Last Wednesday the whole circus was together again. We celebrated Christmas and had a blast! One of the major gifts to the kids was a trip to Chattanooga, we left the day after the day after Christmas.It was a wonderful time, our first trip as a "real" family.
So here we are at the end of 2009. We have so much to be thankful for! We also have so much to look forward to. God is good.

I Heard the Bells

Sometimes I amuse myself with the things I'm learning at fifty. Maybe I've learned it all before and have forgotten but it's really fun discovering "new" concepts at such a ripe old age.
One of the perks of getting older is apparently the decreased need for sleep. I feel like I need just as much but something in my brain says "nope, you need to stay awake half the night just for fun". Usually it's late at night that I can't shut my eyes and be still...today it was morning, pre-dawn mind you but morning nonetheless. I awoke to a paw on my face so technically I probably would have slept eight hours if left alone but this particular paw was attached to a sweet little kitty who was telling me she needed to go outside immediately! I much prefer opening the door to cleaning up accidents so I happily abliged her. When I realized it was 5:30 I decided not to go back to bed. I clicked on the TV hoping to catch Beth Moore or Joyce Meyer instead I found Casting Crowns (a Christian band for those who may not know). The lead singer was just about to sing one of my favorite "new" Christmas songs. He was introducing the old favorite "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day", he explained that with all the turmoil in the world it's sometimes difficult to see the truth in the song. Then he made a statement that hit the bullseye with me. He said that WE ARE THE PEACE ON EARTH! Have you ever thought about that? The Bible says that God will give us peace that passes understanding....not as the world gives but something only the Spirit of God can give. The world does not understand when we have "a peace" about critical situations. I have experienced this peace firsthand and in a big way this year. He's given me peace in the struggles with the foster care system, with money woes, and then my back issues...when the doctor told me it might be something he'd have to biopsy. He has used his people to talk me off the ledges in life, and he has certainly given me a spirit of peace. There is no need to worry when the creator of the universe "has your back".
So, whatever you are facing this season take comfort in the knowledge Jesus was born to bring Peace on Earth, not necessarily to the nations but to one soul at a time. May his peace wrap you up this season like a warm quilt, and if you haven't felt it yet look up the Casting Crowns version of "I Heard the Bells" and see what it does for you. Merry Christmas!

Three Dolls

When I was a little girl I always got too much for Christmas. I am truly grateful for the time and attention my mother put into my gifts but Santa always seemed to overdo it just a little. It's funny to think I realized this even when I was a child. My cousins next door would get about the same amount of toys and clothes as I did and there were three of them! My parents were not wealthy, they just felt the way to show love was to give gifts. I respect this as a legitimate "love language", the "giving of gifts" but it wasn't mine and I felt guilty sometimes about all the loot under the tree for just me. I would have traded it all for a little brother. That was not possible. I grew up a single, an only, number one, center of attention, over indulged? maybe, but not spoiled...I never expected my parents to do more or asked for much of anything. I never had to! Santa knew what I liked and he delivered! I think I was a grateful child. (My mother may remember it differently but then she remembers everything differently so I don't rely on her memory at all.)
One particular Christmas when I was about five I got three dolls. I remember the overwhelming fear of not being able to take care of three babies at one time...I obviously had a maternal instinct early on. Dolls were not listed in the same category as other toys, they were not toys at all to me! They required attention and care. I left Woolworth's crying because I had to pick one Santa Mouse and all the other Santa Mice were calling to me to choose them. Okay, I know that sounds like my mental illness was kicking in at an early age but I like to think it was just my tender heart toward dolls of any kind. I also remember vividly the knot in my throat when I walked down the aisle in Roses, at Midway Plaza and discovered a pitiful doll on the shelf called "Little Miss Nobody". Does anyone else remember her? That had to be the dumbest idea anyone in the toy business EVER had. She was dressed in rags, was dirty and had a tear in her eye! I was mortified! My mother was too. I wanted all of those dolls! They obviously needed a mommy! Santa hoped I'd just forget about it...well, I'm still thinking about it and it's been forty-plus years!
I still have a tender heart for dolls. I never let my boys treat their big sisters' dolls in any way but kind, I reminded them on occasion that they would be daddies some day and they needed to practice being loving to dolls. I'm sure there was some eye rolling from time to time and maybe even comments like "Mommy is crazy, she talks to dolls", "Yeah, she thinks they are real". But, you should see those same boys with our little girls and our grandbaby, so sweet! Seth was carrying Lissy around the other day, she was patting his face and saying "I love you lil brother". It's amusing that she calls HIM "little brother" considering he's a giant next to her. CJ calls him "Best Buddy", all three of the girls love their big brothers and the feeling is mutual.
So here we are at Christmas again. I "received" the gift I'm finally getting this year three years ago...I've wondered many times if I could take care of three little girls at one time but the Lord has paved the way and lit the path every step. Our adoption date is Dec 21. My dolls will finally be my daughters.
I'm still getting wonderful gifts that I don't deserve.