School Days

In 1966 I lived in a bubble. Not a real bubble, a figurative bubble. I was on the brink of seven when school started at Pepperell elementary. My daddy thought it was some kind of smear on the family name for me to be two short months away from a "big ol' seven year old just now going to real school". I had gone to "Miss Sue's" kindergarten at the Baptist church the year before and I thought it was pretty real. I kind of liked having one of the first birthdays of the school year and the fact that it was really close to Halloween made it even more fun. I remember those first few mornings outside the school waiting for the set of red double doors to open with Mr Mason, principal standing guard. This school housed first-sixth grade and the big kids were really big. My cousins, who lived next door to us went to Pepperell too. My friend from church Kathy was there but she was a second grader so she had sage wisdom as far as I was concerned.
One of the best things about first grade and Pepperell elementary was getting to ride a school bus. I felt like I was really old when I marched out with the other students each day to climb on the big "cheese wagon". I was secretly terrified I would get on the wrong one but as long as my cousins and Kathy were already there I was fine. I experienced my first memory of terror on this bus. There were sixth grade boys on our route. They were mean. I had visions of one of them sneaking into my house at night to smother me with my pillow. I think I overheard older girls talking about these boys doing mean things to little kids and I just knew they had me marked for violence. Truth was, they probably didn't even know I was there. One of the "older boys" grew up to be one of the sweetest men I know. God did a work, that's all I can say.
My first grade teacher was Miss Boyd. She was really sweet. I'm sure I wasn't her pet but she liked me. I wasn't a really great student (ever) but I did my best...things outside the classroom were so much more interesting...My friend Elaine for instance, who was a budding country music star, who had more sob stories than I had Barbies. She was what I would recognize today as a neurotic....hypochondriac. She was sick all the time accept when she had a singing engagement. She literally kept us entertained with her throw up stories. She would tell us about her mama and daddy waiting on her hand and foot, while she vomited into a dishpan...I kept thinking about my mama washing turnip greens in our dishpans and felt a little nauseous myself. I didn't like the idea of being sick to get attention. I would go to extremes not to be sick, I might miss something at school or on the bus.
I suppose I was something of a timid child. I didn't have the self-confidence of Elaine or the wisdom of Kathy but around the middle of October I had something all together my own...a nomination...for Halloween Queen. This was a big deal. I don't have any idea how the nomination was made, who voted or how any of it happened but I was in a real pageant. There were two girl representatives from each of the two first grades and two boys...the older grades were participating too and I think they actually had Kings and Queens from each grade I don't really remember that. I do remember it was a fund raiser and we had to actually collect money for the event. My daddy didn't like the idea of his child "begging" for donations so my mother came up with a crafty idea to help me win. Bless her heart, she probably should have just gone to the bank and cleaned out her modest savings. It would have ended up costing her less and would have been much less trouble. She decided I would go door to door in our neighborhood selling her homemade Divinity candy. If you've never had the pleasure of this heavenly goodness I'm truly sad for you. It's basically sugar and corn syrup (which is basically more sugar) and egg whites, little clouds of perfection on wax paper. Mama made batches and batches and I sold them til I couldn't stand the sight of another front door. We also sold Divinity at the beauty shop, the post office, the department store, and even to the employees at the Big Apple grocery store. My bus driver bought three bags at a time. My teacher brought me home from school one day to get an order. Mama was on to something. As the big night approached the teachers in the hall started smiling at me and talking to me for the first time...even Mr Mason was pleasant when I came in from the bus. I think one time he actually winked at me. I continued to bring in my money in jars to deposit for the cause. I'm not sure what the cause was at the school, but my mama's cause was to win her baby a crown! Finally the Saturday before Halloween arrived. I had a hair appointment, my first bouffant! I wore a beautiful dress with a blue velvet bodice and an organza skirt with crinolines that itched. I had a little blue coat that went with the dress and black patent leather shoes. I was the fanciest thing I'd ever seen standing there in the bathroom mirror. It sure didn't look like me but for that I was truly thankful. I was snaggle toothed and freckled and could have passed for the little girl on My Three Son's twin...on any other day, but not tonight, tonight I was beautiful. I took my place on stage next to the boy representative from my class and hoped I wouldn't pee in my pretty dress, I also hoped my mama wouldn't see my knees knocking together and ruin all her hard work. When the winner was named I was surprised....it was me, but I was still surprised. I was happy for my class and my mama but I felt sorry for the other kid who didn't win. I got a cardboard crown covered with aluminum foil and little stones from gumball rings. It was pretty for a seven year old. I don't remember anything else about that night except thinking that it would have been okay with me if the other girl had won. I suppose I was an ungrateful child. I should have reveled in the victory more. I hope my mother's feelings weren't hurt. We saved the pretty dress. I still have it hanging in my closet. I guess I learned that competition was just not my thing. I never entered anything like that again and although I was nominated for homecoming queen years later at my tiny high school I had no sights on winning, I was not a fancy girl, I was a mediocre student, who just liked to have fun and ride school buses. When Jana's name was called that night I was surprised, but not disappointed, I thought Terri would win. Mama smiled and clapped from the stands. I wonder if she thought about that blue dress or divinity or my first grade year. I know I didn't.