Lissy Lou

At first sight, Lissy was a little ragamuffin. She had been loved by another foster family for a few months and seemed to be making progress. At twenty months old she could say a few words but mostly chose not to. She stared with chocolate colored eyes and seemed to be almost vacant of personality. The youngest of her sibling group, her needs paled in comparison to the older, more emotionally needy. There were five other children.
I first met her at the daycare she attended. She and her sister were called to the lobby by their caseworker. I just wanted a peek at them, the decision had already been made to bring them into our home. When I saw them I was even more convinced they were my babies.
It was obvious Lissy had not been walking long. She was the most bow-legged little thing I had ever seen. She had light brown hair, wild and unruly. There was a hardness in her eyes that I knew had come from necessity. All foster children have it. It is the look of "I know you might hurt me, I know I may not stay with you for long, I have already been tossed around, no big deal if you do it too."
The days and weeks that followed were unbelievably difficult. We had what seemed like endless paperwork, phone calls, hoops to jump through. We had so many obstacles that if I had not known I was called by God to go through this, I may have pulled the plug.
But, on January 3, 2007 Lissy came home to live with us. She was quiet and pensive, she had no security blanket, no bottle or pacifier. She did not cry, until bedtime. We tried to make her crib comfortable and safe but she would have no part of it. I tried to rock her. She would fall asleep but when I put her down she would scream within two minutes. I ended up sleeping a few minutes at a time with her on the couch. She would be comforted only while being patted. After three nights I took her to the doctor. We were both near the end of ourselves. Of course, she had a ear infections, yes BOTH ears. I could not believe a seasoned mother as myself did not figure this out before three horrible sleepless nights had gone by. After a round of antibiotics she was fine, slept like a rock from then on.
We chronicled her progress in pictures. One of my adult daughters pointed out when Lissy started to smile. It took some time but gradually she started grinning more and more for the camera. By two and a half she was a ham.
Being a foster parent has not been easy. In fact, sometimes it is like torture you inflict on yourself. Foster parents get a bad rap from the media, everything from Law and Order to Oprah has featured situations where foster parents were no heroes, but overall I believe we do it for the right reasons.
We adopted Lissy and two of her sisters last year. She is six years old. As I write this Lissy has come to me several times asking me questions, pointing out her "sight words" on the computer screen, and wanting me to put her pretty brown hair in pigtails. She is sick today, one of the few times she has been sick since that first week. She has changed so much. She is rarely quiet, she has a ready smile and charms us all. She has asked that I play with her when I'm finished "working". She is bouncing her new kick ball in the kitchen patiently waiting.
This day is worth all the hard stuff we have gone through.
If you have ever considered becoming a foster parent call the Department of Human Resources today. Your Lissy is waiting.